Sorry it has been a while since posting, I did make myself promise to do at least one posting a week. However, that never materialised, because I have spent my time cleaning, driving around England, and dreaming of plots for my new book.
So from here until I lose my hair and teeth, I will post every week. So God help you all.
Well what glorious weather we are basking in. I have a great tan, as it is far too hot to stay indoors and do the mundane things. The garden has never been weeded and mowed so much in its life. It is better manicured than my nails at the moment. The weekend was the best, lounging around in the sun, drinking wine and having my family around me not whingeing and wishing to play on their electrical gadgets.
Sunday was entertaining though. Whilst bathing in the afternoon, I heard a few almighty screams coming from the front of the house. Obvioulsy I ran indoors to the bay-window in the living room, and locked on to a small crowd of people congregating around a car on a driveway opposite our house.
Now, I am not a nosey neighbour, never have been (yeah, sure) so I ran upstairs to take a better look. still, I had no idea what was going on, but the way those people took a fretful strep back from the car, I knew something was amiss.
I grabbed the binoculars from a drawer, and took to staring at the silver car with curiosity. A big black pig came into view, and those people jumped back once more, un-sure what this porky was going to do.
One brave man with muscles came to the rescue, hoping to grab the pig and.... well I don't really know what he was going to do. He had no chance of being a super-hero in front of the babes of my street, because as the pig trotted forward, he jumped over a wall.
I did have to titter at him - prat.
Anyway, the pig was still maneuvering around the car like a fairground ride, and the neighbours still stood staring at the pig with fascination, taking steps back, now and then, and then surging forward when the pig stood still.
It was a good ten minutes before another lad came along, this time with a long rope, and his girlfriend in tow for moral support. He looped the rope around the pig, and began to pull it away from the car.
The scream was horrendous, and I felt a tad sorry for porky as he begged not to be moved and not be taken back to wherever he came from.
With entertainment over, I went back into the garden for my sietsa, whilst my kids got the BBQ ready.
"Heard there was a pig walking down the street," Hubby said when he returned from Sunday Schoool (the pub)
"Yes, just over the road," I stated as I turned on to my back.
"Mmm, couldn't you have bought him back here?" he enquired with a frown.
"And where are we going to put him?" I asked with fluster.
"Well, we could make use of it," he shrugged. I mean, here we are having burgers, sausage, belly draft and pork chops, and there was a pig hanging around. Would save us a bob or two on the next BBQ," he thought aloud.
Now my husband. I have been with him for twenty years, married seventeen, and I still never know if he is joking or not. However, as he grabbed a beer, he winked and laughed at my puzzled looking face.
"As if I'd do that," he smiled. " as he examined the minute looking chops in the fridge and pouted.
The RSPCA picked porky up, and took him to pastures green. Or I hope so, because the next chop I eat... may well be dear old porky pig.
Well till next time. Enjoy the weather, and remember, the next time you eat a sausage, give a thought to our wandering pig...Porky
Until next time
Victoria J Smith
Actually, I will be back tomorrow, have more news for you guys..see ya x
So from here until I lose my hair and teeth, I will post every week. So God help you all.
Well what glorious weather we are basking in. I have a great tan, as it is far too hot to stay indoors and do the mundane things. The garden has never been weeded and mowed so much in its life. It is better manicured than my nails at the moment. The weekend was the best, lounging around in the sun, drinking wine and having my family around me not whingeing and wishing to play on their electrical gadgets.
Sunday was entertaining though. Whilst bathing in the afternoon, I heard a few almighty screams coming from the front of the house. Obvioulsy I ran indoors to the bay-window in the living room, and locked on to a small crowd of people congregating around a car on a driveway opposite our house.
Now, I am not a nosey neighbour, never have been (yeah, sure) so I ran upstairs to take a better look. still, I had no idea what was going on, but the way those people took a fretful strep back from the car, I knew something was amiss.
I grabbed the binoculars from a drawer, and took to staring at the silver car with curiosity. A big black pig came into view, and those people jumped back once more, un-sure what this porky was going to do.
One brave man with muscles came to the rescue, hoping to grab the pig and.... well I don't really know what he was going to do. He had no chance of being a super-hero in front of the babes of my street, because as the pig trotted forward, he jumped over a wall.
I did have to titter at him - prat.
Anyway, the pig was still maneuvering around the car like a fairground ride, and the neighbours still stood staring at the pig with fascination, taking steps back, now and then, and then surging forward when the pig stood still.
It was a good ten minutes before another lad came along, this time with a long rope, and his girlfriend in tow for moral support. He looped the rope around the pig, and began to pull it away from the car.
The scream was horrendous, and I felt a tad sorry for porky as he begged not to be moved and not be taken back to wherever he came from.
With entertainment over, I went back into the garden for my sietsa, whilst my kids got the BBQ ready.
"Heard there was a pig walking down the street," Hubby said when he returned from Sunday Schoool (the pub)
"Yes, just over the road," I stated as I turned on to my back.
"Mmm, couldn't you have bought him back here?" he enquired with a frown.
"And where are we going to put him?" I asked with fluster.
"Well, we could make use of it," he shrugged. I mean, here we are having burgers, sausage, belly draft and pork chops, and there was a pig hanging around. Would save us a bob or two on the next BBQ," he thought aloud.
Now my husband. I have been with him for twenty years, married seventeen, and I still never know if he is joking or not. However, as he grabbed a beer, he winked and laughed at my puzzled looking face.
"As if I'd do that," he smiled. " as he examined the minute looking chops in the fridge and pouted.
The RSPCA picked porky up, and took him to pastures green. Or I hope so, because the next chop I eat... may well be dear old porky pig.
Well till next time. Enjoy the weather, and remember, the next time you eat a sausage, give a thought to our wandering pig...Porky
Until next time
Victoria J Smith
Actually, I will be back tomorrow, have more news for you guys..see ya x
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